"you split me wide open and theres this burning, shining core inside that i never felt before, hadn’t recognized it and certainly nobody else had gotten that close either, and this white hot center is incinerating me and turning my body into some unending substance, standing in white psychic fire and not burning but feeling turned into something infinite and you make me feel all emotions at once like some sort of existential hiccup but then two of the feelings seem to rise above the rest hovering precariously above the surface, a little fear and then just slightly more love, well i don’t know what you think of when you hear that but its like an attraction of the spirit, like the way lungs are attracted to breathing and i don’t know what to do with these feelings that make me tremble, i don’t know what to do since you’re not here, all i can do is feel a burn that feels like i’m cut open and bleeding all over the place while receiving a blood transfusion so that i stay alive"